Anniversaries

I started writing this post on the 3rd Anniversary of the day my memories were triggered of being raped over 20 years earlier. It’s now nearing the 5th Anniversary so has anything changed over those few years?  Have a read and see. I have always thought of the distress and emotions of dealing with the …

Will you stand beside the cross?

As we are approaching Easter I was going to write something really deep and theological about Jesus dying on the cross.  However, my attention has been drawn to those standing beside the cross, the witnesses to the death of Jesus.There were the soldiers who crucified Jesus, passers-by who hurled insults at him and questioned what …

Hope in Jesus

Every year there’s something I look out for in early February, my first sight of snowdrops.  For me they signify the hope that Spring is on its way and my heart is lifted, lively with the anticipation that one day, in the next couple of months it’ll be warm enough to start sitting outside.  in …

Memories

Our brains are amazing computers, full of stored information, things that have been said, done, seen or learnt.  It always fascinates me that I can remember my grandparents phone number that I’ve not even used in over 30 years, or as I visit where we used to live I can remember stories and faces that …

O tidings of comfort and joy

Some years ago, one of my grandparents died a few days before Christmas.  That year, and the year after, I really struggled to listen or sing along to Christmas Carols, apart from one, ‘God rest ye merry gentlemen’.  An unusual one, but one that struck a chord in me for the simple reason of the …

We had hoped …

As I mentioned in a previous post (emotions after rape) I have at times used writing to try and express my emotions.  A few years ago, about a month after the 1st Covid lockdown started, and feeling very isolated, not just because we couldn’t see people but because my journey of dealing with the emotions …

Ripples in a pond

Have you ever thrown a stone into a pond and watched the ripples radiate out?  Did you experiment with smaller and bigger stones and notice the differences, or throw a few in at a time and watch the ripples interact.  Maybe you’ve also tried skimming stones and saw a line of circular patterns that start …

The Painting

When I was in the last year of junior school my best friend had a piece of art work she’d just started ruined by a couple of mischievous boys.  They came along with a dirty paint brush and used it to splash dirty water on the paper leaving a messy splodge.  She was just about …

There is mercy for a rapist

I know you may well respond in anger to the title of this post, but please do read on. There is hope in it for everyone. There seems to be two main definitions for the word mercy; one is mercy for those who are vulnerable and the other is towards those who have committed an …

Emotions after rape

The night I was raped I was in shock, there were a few tears but mainly I was embarrassed and just wanted to get away, but somehow had the awareness that I needed to do that in a safe way.  It wasn’t until many years later, when the memories that I had bottled up for …